Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I am available for nakedness
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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