I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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