when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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