Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
