ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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