I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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