Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
