At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm too high and old for this...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
