Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
