On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
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I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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