I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
