This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
