didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
