Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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