just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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