come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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