Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
