Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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