Having a random hookup so left but love u
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!