Pants 0. Shit 1.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.