new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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