Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
