this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize