Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize