dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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