it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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