It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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