someone threw a dead crab at me
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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