Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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