apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
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Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
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I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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