His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
