I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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