Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(618): View more from Illinois

how was the sex?

(1-618): View more from Illinois

he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.

(618): View more from Illinois

well, there's that.

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(801): View more from Utah

we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.

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(801): View more from Utah

"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.

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(227): View more from Maryland

I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

How did i spend $200 last night?

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.

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