I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
as a side note pls kill me
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
