I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
