that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i came on her dog
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
