I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.