Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(806): View more from Texas

Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother

Fav 7 3041 1666
share tweet
(404): View more from Georgia

hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away

Fav 6 4140 1228
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(402): View more from Nebraska

I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.

Fav 8 2695 1074
share tweet
(925): View more from California

After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome

Fav 10 4286 1590
share tweet
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(207): View more from Maine

I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined

Fav 8 1645 1089
share tweet
(201): View more from New Jersey

I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel

Fav 8 3103 1218
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(845): View more from New York

if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party

Fav 8 4232 1028
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(504): View more from Louisiana

I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.

Fav 1 487 611
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(775): View more from Nevada

I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.

Fav 1 16 50
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT