is your mom at the bar?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Sext me about skeletons
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.