I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.