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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?

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• (949): View more from California

  just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."

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• (904): View more from Florida

  i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (240): View more from Maryland

  Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me

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• 

  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (336): View more from North Carolina

  just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...

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• (352): View more from Florida

  This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins

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