Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
