He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
