So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Randomize
