Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
