I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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