As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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