I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
