make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
