the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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