I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
