Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
