guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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