She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
