dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
