pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
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No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
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I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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