I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
