1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
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Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
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I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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