there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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