You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
