Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
