Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
