question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
