I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
