I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
