I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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